🔗 Share this article

Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has always been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and historic moments, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to learn that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom rather too directly, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college to use the facilities back in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the director to convince Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|